Tag: mouse

My Spiritual Awakening: It All Started With A Mouse

Back in May 1991, I was on vacation with my sister and a friend. My sister had just received her master’s degree and wanted to celebrate by going to someplace special. So we went to what some consider the most magical place in the world: Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida.

I had been there twice before the trip, so I knew how wonderful it could be. This time was no different and every moment of the vacation was fun, even when it rained. On a rainy afternoon, we saw many people wearing slick rain ponchos with a Disney emblem on them. One of us (maybe me because I have a propensity for naming things) made up the term “Poncho Villa people”. You have to understand those transparent rain ponchos were a new concept back then and to us, they looked incredibly silly as a cultural phenomenon. We did not become assimilated into their cult and did our best to navigate umbrella-less throughout the Land of Mickey.

I have to pause from my story and say that I love Mickey Mouse, I have my entire life. One of my favorite t-shirts is an all-over print of various Mickey Mouse heads that I bought on this particular trip. At times, I call my boyfriend “Mickey” and sometimes sing parts of the catchy Toni Basil song Hey Mickey to him.

We stayed at the Caribbean Beach Resort, which is on the grounds of Walt Disney World so that we could go to all the theme parks by boat, shuttle or monorail, and never-ever step one foot off of Disney property. I feel that staying within the complex is the most magical way to visit this enchanted realm. When I’m there, I never want to leave. If you feel the same way about any Disney park, it’s partly because of the pixie dust that Tinker Bell and her friends sprinkle on you when you’re not looking.

On the last day of our trip, we checked out of the hotel and had several hours to spend until our afternoon flight. We found some lounge chairs along the beach and I quickly fell asleep.

I don’t know how much time had passed when a voice woke me up with the words: Write the book. Write the book that you always came here to write.

My epiphany was part of my spiritual awakening, A voice that did not sound like my own thoughts, was telling me something that was in my own heart. (Read more about my ideas of spiritual awakening here.)

I got home and started writing a fantasy novel. I adored the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien and always thought that I would write something along the sword and sorcery vein. The date was May 23rd; I remember it because it was my friend’s birthday.

Over time, the book I wrote morphed into another one and I sent the manuscripts off to publishers. They were rejected each time. Because I was one of those people who could not handle rejection well, years passed in between submissions to publishers. At one point, I stopped submitting altogether.

Meanwhile, I started writing the third book in the trilogy, completing several chapters and the ending. Most of the middle is not yet written, though the final chapter is. And that is the important part because it ends on a high note.

Writing a novel is a journey in itself. For me, it was an exploration of my own psyche, a map of my subconsciousness that took me years to understand. My fantasy novels are not structured writings with carefully outlined details but rather an unfolding of the story that occurs only when I’m ready. My books write themselves, or rather, they write me, revealing wisdom that I had forgotten. I had many serendipitous moments when I stumbled across another author’s work whose use of magic resembled my own. Perhaps we are all drawing from the same well.

23 years after my magical nap, it is May 2014 and I go on a trip with my boyfriend to celebrate his birthday. Just as Walt Disney World is my special place, the mountains are his, so we went to the Rockies.

It was there that I began to awaken to the realization that the book that I was meant to write wasn’t just another fantasy novel.

The puzzle pieces that had been scattered throughout my life began to fit together. I have always been fascinated with Alice in Wonderland, especially Disney’s cartoon movie. I love the 2010 version with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, who also plays Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean. Do you know what my favorite ride is at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom? Yep! You guessed it! Pirates of the Caribbean.

In college in the 80’s, I did a pointillism project for an Illustration class. It was a picture of Alice falling down a rabbit hole and it took me over 40 hours to complete. (I will share that another time.)

In the 90’s, I had a shaman call me Alice and took me on a journey of shapeshifting. I also trained in shamanism and began the healing of my inner child, the Alice within me.

For many years, my beloved has owned a white rabbit statue. As a Christmas present in 2009, he gave me a drawing of a rabbit that he had created. Another time, he gave me a rabbit statue. I never told him of my Alice fascination but seeing each one leads me deeper down the rabbit hole of my own imagination.

I credit Walt Disney for waking me up. As I awaken to remembering more parts of my cosmic puzzle-self, I am seeing with renewed clarity how everything is connected through consciousness As I expand in my awareness, insights come to me which feel that they were always there. I just never looked at them.

It’s all about perception. While you may not share my love of the magic of Walt Disney,  you may have a curiouser idea that you don’t share with others because of an underlying fear, like rejection. Or you do share it and people act like you are entirely bonkers.

I’m completely bonkers and I’m happy to admit it.
I have ideas that are out of this world.
Maybe you do too.

My last post was about waking up as a Jedi. As audacious and maybe even childish as it sounds, I’ve always felt that I am a Jedi Knight ever since seeing the first Star Wars movie in a theatre in 1977. Now that Star Wars is part of Disney, it confirms my long-held belief that George Lucas didn’t invent Star Wars, he was merely awakening us to the wonders of the Force that we had forgotten.

It is my hope to someday contribute to Disney in a creative manner. All possibilities exist in multidimensionality, so that might still happen in this Universe.

I am certain that humanity will eventually see how multi-faceted, interconnected, and real the world of imagination actually is.

I believe that voice that woke me up in 1991 was Walt Disney. And just as he said, it all started with a mouse.

Always,
Alice Always

P.S. I would like to hear about your personal experience with spiritual awakening or your curiouser beliefs. Please share in the comments.

What Awareness Can Do For You

In a previous blog post, I wrote about my personal experience with pain. After I published it, I asked myself, now why did I do that?

My original intention for this blog was to be something l fun, light-hearted and inspiring. But writing that post, I went down a rabbit hole that I didn’t expect.

Given what is happening currently worldwide, I think a lot of people feel that they also went down an unexpected rabbit hole also.

I said that there are no accidents. only lack of awareness of what is happening. In questioning my action, I began to see more clearly.

The pain I felt within my body had slowed me down to the point to see the gift, which was to see the beauty of my own pain.

I realized what is truly important, just being in the moment. When you don’t rush yourself, you realize that you are exactly where you need to be.

You begin to see that your life is unfolding perfectly and always has been.

You begin to see the purpose behind everything that has happened in your life, the truth of who you are.

The veil of forgetfulness that is placed upon you when you are born begins to lift.

You begin to fully awake.

Always,
Alice Always

The Present of Being Present: Awareness

I started writing this post exactly 4 months ago today. At that time, I was working at a job that was wreaking havoc on my health. It’s rather curious that I would return to this post on the exact same day (on the 23rd of all days – more about that another time). It’s also rather curious that my mind would be concerned with being present. My present (yes, pun intended) circumstances lend a lot to what is happening.

I will say this now and probably will say it again and again:

There are no accidents,
only lack of awareness of what is happening.

Here is what I wrote on June 23, 2017:

The word for today is present. Every single day, not just this one, that is, if we are truly present.

I’m in a very difficult situation. I work at a back-breaking job and I’m reaching my personal breaking point as Humpty Dumpty in regards to my joints.

I have arthritis in my fingers, wrists, neck, back, hips and now possibly in the knee. Pain is par for the course.

I just came back from the doctor. I wanted relief. He said I’ll just have to live with it.

I refuse to accept pain as a way of life.

Today, October 23, 2017, I am experiencing severe pain in my joints throughout my body. There is a low-pressure front and it is causing swelling.  On days like today, the stiffness makes me move extremely slow like an Ent.

I’m not complaining about this. I am trying to illustrate what it feels like to have widespread arthritis with a bit of humor. I’ve been doing a mental exercise to alleviate the pain by just observing it. In time I hope to be in a pain-free life, but that is not today.

This morning when I woke up an old poem I wrote years ago came to my head:

After we see
the beauty
of our own pain
then we begin

The image of a painting I did that was based on that poem also flashed through my mind. Here it is:

“Beauty of Pain” by Ginny Gaura

I created this mixed-media piece about 15 years ago when the arthritis was localized to my lower back. I didn’t create this painting because of physical pain. I was experiencing emotional pain back then.

But pain is pain whether it is emotional or physical. It is not pleasant.

Back in the early 2000s my fingers were just beginning to develop osteophytes, bone spurs that disfigure my joints. Back then, I didn’t have pain in my hands, I just had a few swollen joints. Now the hand pain is sometimes so severe that daily activities such as typing can cause pain. Also, my fingers are crooked on my right, which is the dominant hand.

I am only 55. My mom developed bone spurs in her hands later in life. When she passed at 77, her joints were not as disfigured as mine are now.

I have had back issues since I was a teenager and was diagnosed with osteoarthritis of the spine with bone spurs in my thirties, so the illness has had a long time to progress.

Someone in the public eye claimed that his bone spurs got better. At least from my experience, bone spurs only get worse with time.

Sometimes there is a gift within the pain if we allow ourselves to see it. For me, it is awareness. I am aware of what is hurting but I am not letting it overpower my life. I am listening to my body, moving it slowly and treating it with care. What is happening is allowing me to open more fully in awareness, to see things in a more intense light, to be more present in the moment.

What new awareness have you had recently?

Always,
Alice Always

 

Coming Full Circle on the New Moon Fall Equinox (Or the Spring Equinox if You are Down Under)

I published my first Alice Always blog post exactly one year ago today on the Autumnal Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere. Here’s a link in case you are new, which I’m sure a lot of you are as I did nothing to promote it.

I was wrestling with the insecurities that I’ve always felt within me. I kept the blog hidden, talking about it to only a few people. I didn’t promote it at all, not even on my Facebook page. I had created a special Twitter account, @AliceIsAlways, but I didn’t always link my posts to it. Even though I knew it was important to me to work on it, I went through the year putting this blog on the perpetual back burner. I hardly posted at all.

I didn’t make a priority even though I knew it would be something completely different.

Why not?

Because I was scared that it would be successful, and then I would finally be seen.

I also had a little problem of falling asleep and forgetting who I am.

On top of that, there was this strange dance with I’ve been doing with time. It kept running out.

Tonight, I will start promoting it. Tonight, I will publish a post with my Twitter accounts and on Facebook, even if I have to stay up past my bedtime and no one sees it until tomorrow.

Then, tomorrow, on September 23, 2017, I will step into my power, proclaim my Queenship as a silly Goo and yet again be the child who dances like no one is watching.

Tomorrow, I will embrace my inner Elsa and let go of the limiting beliefs that have kept me in a prison of my own mind.

Doomsday Gloomers (yes, I just made a new word and phrase) and also some Biblical Book of Revelations Buffs (oh, the joy of alliteration!) are saying that tomorrow will be the End of the World. Some say a rogue planet called Nibiru will play bumper cars with Earth.

Some say its the beginning of The Tribulation, the seven years leading up to Armageddon, the battle at the End of the World.

I began my tribulation 7 years ago when my mom died, so I’m done with that. If tomorrow is my personal Armageddon, then the old me will die and a new me will rise like a Pheonix from the ashes and I will claim my birthright to be the most curiouser and curiouser person that I can be!

I AM ALICE!

Always,
Alice Always

 

 

 

Spring is Springing Up All Over

I loved the Google Doodle from the Fall Equinox that I had to post the one for Spring Equinox. I was just going to flip the graphics on the page but I decided to lookup the one Google posted for 2017.

This Spring Equinox 2017 Google Doodle has magical quality to it. A mouse wakes up in his underground home and goes above ground to get a daffodil to put in a vase, then he goes back to sleep and the flower disappears from his home and grows above ground. Magic!

Don’t you think its odd he has a broom? I mean he lives in a hole filled with dirt! Does he sweep all the dirt under the doormat?

Perhaps a future Google Doodle will show him spring cleaning and the dirt will magically disappear. It reminds me of another mouse named Mickey who had a broom and well, things got a little out of hand. But that’s a story for another day.

Always,
Alice Always